By Jineea Butler
It is very important that we focus on building strong households and foundations that will survive the test of time. We have entered a time of war. We cannot afford to war against each other. An effort is being carried out to destroy our culture and we need to take it seriously or we will perish.
People are being exterminated for others to survive, because the world is overpopulated. Our children are underperforming in every area possible because we are not preparing them to compete. In the next 20 years, what will the world look like? Can we afford not to fight for positioning? We complained for years that we were brought here against our will, now what? We have been suppressed and beaten yet we are still among the brightest minds on the planet. We have the opportunity to carve a place for ourselves to survive the next 100 years. We just have to work together and be strategic.
In that vein, I want to congratulate men who take care of their children and play a significant role in their children’s growth. A father is one of the most important elements in the blueprint for a successful offspring. The mantra of black men not taking care of their children has been broken. Black men are very present in their children’s lives outside of going to jail and being murdered. Many black men are even in family court fighting for the custody of their children. Bravo! Our men are stepping up to the plate to fatherhood and too many of them are being met by so much drama from the child’s mother.
But why? Because that is not enough. It is not enough to love your child unconditionally but not love and marry the child’s mother like you vowed to do. Our women don’t need to be lied to, dragged through the mud, downed, left with a broken heart new baby and whole life reconstruction, numerous times and expected to raise the next generation of Kings. What kind of strategy is that? If she is not empowered she will unwittingly damage the growth process for the children she is supervising.
It is the man’s job to uphold order in the community and our men are creating nothing but chaos. A woman can decide to have a child with a man for a number of reasons: as a symbol representing their love, to keep a man, because he wants a child, because they are married and planning a family. The only answer should be because they are married and planning a family. How can you say you want a child with someone but don’t want to get married? Why are you having a child if you can’t commit to raising him or her?
We have learned to coexist in our children’s lives. But that is not enough. Why start our children off with a handicap. It is a handicap to not have both parents in one house invested into raising their children with a quality education, moral values and approaches to succeed in this life. No matter how you try to flip it. It is a handicap.
Why are so many of our children being raised by single parents? It is because generations are repeating themselves. If you did not have any positive examples of marriage or love to learn from what are you basing your viewpoint on?
So many of our men and women are scared from their parents not taking the time to build a sustainable family unit to raise children in. We become repeat offenders when we too have children out of wedlock, without knowing our future or how to succeed in this life. Women who never been loved are attaching themselves to men who are pretending they know whether they can handle love they never had. So everyone is jumping into fairytale relationships and claiming to love one another pretending that the well-being of their children is the most important thing when it is, in fact, a lie.
If your children were the most important gift to you, you would educate yourselves enough to educate them, you would wait until you had enough resources and a husband or wife to assist with the assignment of raising this child into a quality citizen, even if that means you don’t have children.
You would not gamble with your life or theirs by having unprotected sex with random people. You would not be spending your life swapping relationships and problems, with other people and their children when you already created a family. Some men have children with women just because they are eager for a child.
We need to collectively agree to rebuild our community. That means we have to change the way we are seeking relationships, parenting and raising our children. There is no way around it.
Jineea Butler, founder of the Social Services of Hip Hop and the Hip Hop Union is a Hip Hop Analyst who investigates the trends and behaviors of the community and delivers programming that solves the Hip Hop Dilemma. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org or Tweet her @flygirlladyjay.